The Beauty Experiment

… Along both sides of the escalator were also hundreds of billboard advertisements, many for cosmetics, jeweled watches, designer clothing, spa services, and beauty salons.  Commerce was a big game in Hong Kong, and women’s luxury commerce often seemed to be the biggest game of all.

I let my eyes skip over the ads, feeling them push me toward the usual attitudes of improvement and correction.  This manipulation had never bothered me before, but today it felt aggressive, violent even.  It made me want to crumple and hide, but also hit back.

“I don’t have to play,” I thought.  A years-long frustration took a sudden, surprising, shape.  I could stop.  I try and try, and it never works; I never become beautiful.  So why not give up?  What would happen if I simply stopped buying all those new clothes, new shoes, accessories, and hair products I think I need?  What if I stopped using concealer, enhancer, and wrinkle corrector, and what if I stopped hoping that they would work?  How would I feel then?  How would I look?  Would doing that silence the nasty inner Voice?  Would I start to feel a beauty apart from all the unattainable femaleness around me… or not?

~ Phoebe Hyde Baker, The Beauty Experiment

Back in December, on my birthday in fact, I received an intriguing email from Trish of TLC Book Tours asking if I’d be interested in doing another book review, but not in the usual way.  Instead, those of us willing to do so would participate in our choice of an activity, a little beauty experiment of our own, and write a response to the experience rather than write a typical book review.  This happened to coincide with my own thoughts about the cost of beauty (although I labeled it Vanity when I decided to post about it), and so I picked the first activity on the list:

1.  Identify your major cosmetic crutch and go without it for two weeks, noticing any changes.  I think it takes about two weeks to really start feeling positive results, whereas negative ones start in one week!

If you read my Vanity post, a post written with this book review in mind, you know that I decided to stop having my hair professionally colored so that I could save the money for something I feel passionate about: photography.  I felt ready to upgrade to a “big girl” camera (a DSLR), and realized that the money I spend on my hair in one year would almost buy the camera I had in mind.

I would like to say I have been altruistic , and used the money to help make the world a better place by donating it to charity (although I’m hoping that by making me a better person — a woman in joy with what she does — it will generate good vibes out in the world).  I like the idea of using the money for beauty products on something that will help others, and will probably do so in the future.  If you’re interested in changing the world in this way, you can find out just what those beauty products and procedures could provide by visiting The Price Chart at Baker Hyde’s website.

Phoebe Baker Hyde

Multi-dimensional hair coloring usually costs over $100 a pop (that’s a conservative estimate based on country rates; you city folks probably pay a lot more).  At-home hair coloring ranges somewhere between $7 and $15 for the color kit.  I was having my hair professionally colored about four times a year, and with tip, the total cost for a year was approximately $500.  My last professional coloring was done in July of 2013, and I was going to have it done again in December when we went back to Ohio for Christmas until I made the decision to save the money for a camera.  About the time I was ready to color my hair on my own at home, The Beauty Experiment email arrived and I realized that coloring my hair had become my major cosmetic crutch, and it was time to see if I could live with my natural color (or colors, as I can see now that there are many).

This experiment requires more long-term investment than a week or two because it takes longer for hair to grow in.  It has been long enough now (my last at-home coloring was in October) that I am just passing through the negative phase.  My inner Voice, the Negative Nelly, has not approved at all of the appearance of whites, grays, and silvers, or even the mixture of browns, reds, and blondes (she’s never satisfied, it seems).  Reading The Beauty Experiment has helped me learn to listen to Ms. Negativity rather than get upset and try to tune her out.  Negative Nelly has the usual fears of aging, of feeling irrelevant in a society that worships youth, and of her own mortality.  She has a few other issues as well, but those are personal and not ready to be discussed out loud (or in writing).

I tell myself that I want to age gracefully and naturally, but the inner Voice seldom agrees and sometimes takes on the voice of a loved one who, a few years ago, asked, “When are you going to color your hair?  The gray makes you look old.”  (No, not M.  Love is blind, don’tcha’ know?  I don’t think he even sees the grays, whites, and silvers unless I point them out.)  The remark came from a young one who hadn’t yet learned the value of tact or age, and he was immediately excused and forgiven due to lack of experience and age.  I am happy to report he knows better than to say something like that now.

Yesterday, while the sun was pouring in through the bathroom window, I stood in front of the mirror and watched as the light played through all the different colors of my hair.  For a moment, it was a beautiful sight.  The silvers sparkle like tinsel, the whites create wonderful highlights, and the grays, browns, and reds are the lowlights.  It was an ah-ha! moment.  All this time I have been paying for multi-dimensional hair color when I already have multi-dimensional hair color!  What an eye-opener!  I’m not sure I would have taken the time to notice if I hadn’t chosen to conduct this little experiment.

Ms. Baker Hyde’s book is described in the press release I received as “an honest exploration of womanhood and femininity.  It’s not a platform for extreme makeover before and after shots, but a journey to reassess what’s important, to find and embrace that elusive inner beauty.”  It is a confessional of sorts, and there are a number of things she brings up that I think a lot of women in this society of ours can relate to.  She hit a nerve with me on a number of occasions as I read the book, and has me rethinking what is important to me, what is not important, and how those things make me feel (or not feel, as sometimes happens).

Will I color my hair again?  And if so, will I have it professionally colored once I’ve completed my obligation not to color it for a year?  I don’t know.  It will take another hair cut or two, now that my hair is short, to experience my hair in its totally natural state.  This experiment has taught me to look at why I want to color my hair, why I buy clothes I’m never satisfied with, and why I am not satisfied with the clothing, my hair, or even myself at times.

Thank you to Trish at TLC Book Tours for inviting me to read the book.  Thank you to Ms. Baker Hyde for the gift of honesty in her words and in her book, and in the questions she’s provoked me to ask myself.  And thank you all for stopping by and reading.  As always, I appreciate your visits, your comments, and your likes.

Be good, be kind, be loving.  Just Be.  🙂

Note:  This is a debate that I thought would be over long before this time, but it seems questions of beauty, and what makes a woman look and feel beautiful, will be around for a very long time.  If you’d like to continue the conversation, leave a comment and let’s see where it goes.

Related links:

• Phoebe Baker Hyde’s website
• Phoebe Baker Hyde’s Facebook Page
• Follow Phoebe Baker Hyde on Twitter
• Synopsis of the book and information about other tour stops for The Beauty Experiment