“Have you thought of an ending?”
“Yes, several, all are dark and unpleasant.”
“Oh, that won’t do! Books ought to have good endings. How would this do: and they all settled down and lived together happily ever after?”
“It will do well, if it ever came to that.”
“Ah! And where will they live? That’s what I often wonder.”~ J. R. R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.
~ Rumi
Expectations are tempting, pleasant, maybe necessary. They are scary too, once you have had some experience. They are not necessarily and not always a bucket of smoke, but they can be and are even likely to be.
~ Wendell Berry
And Man created the plastic bag and the tin and aluminum can and the cellophane wrapper and the paper plate, and this was good because Man could then take his automobile and buy all his food in one place and He could save that which was good to eat in the refrigerator and throw away that which had no further use. And soon the earth was covered with plastic bags and aluminum cans and paper plates and disposable bottles and there was nowhere to sit down or walk, and Man shook his head and cried: “Look at this Godawful mess.”
~ Art Buchwald, 1970
May you experience each day as a sacred gift woven around the heart of wonder.
~ John O’Donohue, Eternal Echoes: Celtic Reflections on Our Yearning to Belong
Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home.
~ Edith Sitwell
Spending time with the ones who are dear to you is like being in a dream, is it not?
~ Sakura Tsukuba, Land of the Blindfolded, Vol. 3
I’m sitting in the basement of what used to be my home. I have thoughts about going home again; what it means, and maybe more importantly, what it doesn’t mean. I’m not sure I have time or words to explore those thoughts now. I’ll write, and maybe something will weave its way into my words.
The Christmas tree lights are twinkling. Martin (youngest son) and Mere have a beautiful tree. It’s a Norway spruce. M and I planted three Norway spruces on the property here in the Bogs when we first moved in. They were little trees when we planted them. They have grown and grown, and look almost like giants now.
Bo the Dog and Denver the Cat are cuddled up on their bed, taking a winter’s nap. It is difficult to tell them apart, one black furred animal blending into the other black furred animal. They are ridiculously cute. Poor Denver went through a bad illness a few months ago, and had to be brought back to life a couple of times. He looks well now, but he’s not as friendly as he used to be. The vet thinks part of the problem was being at the vet’s, as if it scared him to death.
The Christmas gifts were exchanged and opened on Saturday when our entire little family was gathered here in this basement, around this tree. Mere did a fantastic job of hosting Christmas, and I love the way she decorated the basement. It’s a very light and festive atmosphere, a lot like Mere herself. You might not think light and festive is possible in a basement space, but this space is wide open with large windows and a door that opens out to the backyard where you can walk down the hill to the pond. Mere made it brighter by painting and decorating with bright colors. The look and feel are much different than how it used to be. I like it. I especially like that it is different, that the entire house has a different look and feel to it.
Being with my sons, daughters-in-law, and granddaughters was The Best Christmas Present Ever. My heart expanded and expanded and expanded with love. It amazes me, sometimes, how infinite love can be.
I took pictures, of course. Not a lot, and mostly towards the end of the visit with our granddaughters. We sat in front of the upstairs fireplace in various combinations, trying to fit everyone in. I even handed over the camera so I could be in one of the combinations. I’ll upload them and look at them another day. Right now I prefer to savor the images — what we call memories — in my mind.
M and I will be leaving here soon to join his family (who are, of course, my family, too) for a Christmas feast. Then we’ll go home. Home is on the Eastern Shore, not in the Bogs. I feel that now and, to be honest, it’s a good feeling. I believe I was hanging in limbo there for a while, homesick for the Bogs while trying to nest or settle in at the Wabi-Sabi Ranch. During my last visit to Breezy Acres, I no longer felt I was home, and my spirit seemed to hover between Breezy Acres and the Wabi-Sabi Ranch, neither here nor there. It was not a comfortable place to be.
It’s time for me to put this away, and get ready to leave. I’ll be back to regular blogging soon. Merry Christmas to you and yours. Wishing you peace, joy, loads of love, and the warmth and comfort of feeling at home, no matter where home happens to be.
breezes at dawn 