Spoiled. That all it’s about — can’t live without this, can’t live without that. You can live without anything you weren’t born with, and you can make it through on even half of that.
~ Gloria Naylor
When M and I bought the house at Breezy Acres (in the Bogs of Ohio), we had the unintended luxury of being able to work on the house for six months before we moved in. We gutted and remodeled the kitchen. Laid new floors (a beautiful, character-grade hickory we found at an Amish mill for a great price). I was able to walk through the empty house and see, in my mind’s eye, the colors I wanted to paint the rooms, and then spend time doing the painting before our furniture and other belongings were moved in. It was a local move so we were able to move things over at our leisure, and when the space became available for them.
The reason we had that luxury was because our previous house, on the market, wasn’t selling. In fact, there was little to no interest so we decided we might as well stay put in the old house while working on the new one.
We don’t have that luxury here, but what I find worse yet is that I cannot visualize how I want the house to look. I don’t know if it’s the clutter of too much stuff, a lack of connection with the house itself, or my bad attitude.
Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working twenty-four hours a day, for good or bad. It is of paramount importance that we know how to harness and control this great force.
~ Tom Blandi
I suspect it is my attitude. I am spoiled. After ten years at Breezy Acres, and lots of hard work, M and I had the house the way we liked it. Everything had a place. Here, at the Wabi-Sabi Ranch (a name that sticks in my head better than Back East), nothing seems to fit or have a place. The house needs so much work that I hesitate to unpack, knowing I’ll have to pack up again to move things when we start doing the work.
Time and patience are needed. I know that. Air conditioning would help, too. Someone turned up the heat and humidity here on the Eastern Shore, and I am miserable during the day. Thank goodness we brought a small window air conditioner that we can use in the bedroom. At least I can retreat there when the heat becomes too much. (We’ve had a few guys out here looking at the heat pump/air conditioning unit. All the estimates are in and now we’re waiting on the folks who are going to do it to work us into their schedule.)
The odd thing is that when I’m outdoors, even with the heat, the humidity, the mosquitoes, and the biting flies, my attitude improves. The whining stops and I become optimistic and think, “I can do this.”
The tasks are overwhelming at times. Where do you put things in a kitchen that has no cabinets or counter tops? In a bathroom that has little closet space? Or in bedrooms and public spaces of the house that are too small to hold the furniture we have?
I’m trying to find a sense of spaciousness within myself. Perhaps that will help with the congestion in my outer world.
Well, that’s enough whining from me for today. I need to work on my gratitude skills. The house is a mess and needs work, but that’s the reason we were able to afford such a beautiful piece of property with a dock and a creek and woods and a pond. And our very own cemetery. All I have to do is step outside for an attitude adjustment, and a reminder of why I should be grateful and stop whining.
(But please, please, please, Universe… get that A/C fixed quickly! Or ask Mother Nature to turn down the heat. Thank you.)
Thank you for listening/reading. I promise not to moan and complain on a daily basis. Venting is helpful, but too much of it leads to a negative outlook. ‘Tis better to be thankful and appreciative.
Be good, be kind, be loving. Just Be. 🙂