Posted in Mindfulness, Nature, Photography, Quotes, Spirit, Water

Reflections on frustration

It’s a long story, the details of which are probably not necessary for this post, but I spent yesterday morning visiting with frustration, trying to get to the bottom of it.  After digging through the surface issues, I finally hit the core of the matter.  The core, of course, is very personal.  It was a realization that I have not been honest with myself.

I was going to write “truth is such a fickle thing,” but that’s not true, is it?

Your body is the piece of the universe you’ve been given; as long as you have a pulse, it presents you with an ongoing shower of immediate sensate experiences.  Red, salt, loneliness, heat.  When a friend says something painful to you, your chest aches.  When you fall in love, that same chest feels like fireworks and waterfalls and explosions of ecstasy.  When you are lonely, your body feels empty.  When you are sad, it feels as if there is a Mack truck sitting on your lungs.  Grief feels like tidal waves knocking you down, joy like champagne bubbles welling up in your arms, your legs, your belly.  Our minds are like politicians; they make stuff up, they twist the truth.  Our minds are masters at blame, but our bodies… our bodies don’t lie.  Which is, of course, why so many of us learned to zip out of them at the first sign of trouble.

~ Geneen Roth, Women Food And God

I’ve been spending time learning how to be present in my body.  Listening to my body.  I’ve learned that my body knows truth.  No matter what my mind might be nattering on about, no matter what my emotions might be, my body holds the truth of the matter.

It’s not always easy to stay present, to sit with the body and with a truth.  It is, however, liberating.  Once I know, truly know, what’s at the base of an emotion, I can deal with it.  It’s the not knowing that keeps me tied up in knots, unable to move on.

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Author:

Robin is a photographer, artist, writer, wife, sometime poet, mom, grandma, daughter, sister, friend, and occasional traveler currently living on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. She finished a 365 commitment to get outside every day in 2011, and has turned it into a lifelong commitment taking one or more walks each day. Robin will continue to share her walks through her words and images on Breezes at Dawn. Older posts can be found at Life in the Bogs, her previous blog. Robin and her husband are in the midst of renovating the house and property they refer to as the Wabi-Sabi Ranch, 35 acres that include marsh, a dock on a tidal creek, meadows, and woodlands. Every day brings new discoveries.

3 thoughts on “Reflections on frustration

  1. I know what you mean, Robin. Even, sometimes, when I know what my body is saying–the mind is so strong and insistent that I follow it instead. Also have learned over the last couple of years how challenging it really is to feel anger, frustration, sadness, negativity to the core. The mind leaps to do everything to take away the hurt. It will reach for the computer, a cookie, a game, a book–anything, anything, to avoid feeling deeply. Sitting with raw emotion (without the background story) is such a teacher. During this break–as I am not reaching out to “do” as much–all sorts of rawness is coming to the surface. I think this is why we so often run from retreats. Brings up way so much and we’re exposed to it. Do you mind me writing such extensive comments here? I could shorten them up! Love, K

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    1. Oh no, I don’t mind in the least! Write as much as you like. I’ve been considering asking you if you’d like to share a blog of this nature as I find your thoughts and experiences helpful and inspiring. Maybe put something new together (in which case I would abandon this since I wouldn’t need this, too). Just a thought… for when you’re not on a break. I realize this can be personal in nature so a no won’t offend or hurt. 🙂

      The mind… it’s strange to look at it in this different light, as a storyteller who is not always telling stories in my best interest. I just finished the book “Women Food And God” and some of the ideas are beginning to sink in so what do I do? Run from them, of course! Okay, that makes me want to laugh now that I see it in writing. Such a silly thing to do. One of the reminders in the book is that I won’t die from feeling the raw emotions. My mind seems to think I’ll die from it. Silly mind. Not that the rawness is easy. But I’m learning that sometimes putting off dealing with the negativity, I manage to bury it deeper where it creates more havoc than if I’d dealt with it in the first place. Or the second, third, or fourth place.

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      1. Robin, I think your idea would be a good one–and really great to share together–but my heart feels I must decline for now, at least. It feels really important to simplify right now, to stay with rawness, to keep the focus steadily on realizing Oneness. I know my patterns too well, and I would probably use another blog as just another way to keep my focus elsewhere.

        Now am using every opportunity to watch closely and see where attention is. Yes, I have read that book and fell in love with it and gave it to my friend Susan who fell in love with it, too. One of the many pieces of the puzzle which keep pointing away from the individual pieces toward the unity of it all. I know what you mean about burying negativity.

        Also thinking that this journey of awakening is often about looking into the parts of self/feelings/emotions that we’ve buried and are therefore wreaking havoc on lots of unconscious levels. I think this journey is a lot about facing pain at times. Maybe. Anyway, if you ever want to talk on the phone (although I recall maybe that’s not your thing? or maybe that was someone else…) that would be great.

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Comments are delightful and always appreciated. I will respond when I can (life is keeping me busy!), and/or come around to visit you at your place soon. Thank you!

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